Let
me start of this way “The worst mask is personality of a person”.
Some of you may wonder how dare I am to write such a blunt statement.
Please don't fight over it, let me explain my point.
Whenever
I hear “He has got a great personalty”, or when someone says “I
admire him, because what a charming personality he has got”, I have
always felt these people are going in a wrong direction. Why?
Because
the greatness of anything cannot be realized by looking its outside
appearance. If that hasn’t been the case mankind would have never
found diamonds from dark charcoals.
Personality
can be referred as someone's trained behavior or an outside
appearance. Basically it is the behavioral pattern of an individual
with respect to different situations in life. When someone says he
has got a great personality that does mean he has got a great skill
to sell himself to others. His skills include effective communication
skills, great body language, nice smile. He may be even very active
in his communities. He may have all the luxury possessions . Having
these qualities is a fantastic thing.
But
most of the time these trained behaviors and external awesomeness of
a person may be a mask to deceive or hide someone's real character.
That means you cannot really trust someone by their humble behaviors
or by their dress code.
Now
you may ask, “Jerin, then what is it, that makes a person
trustworthy and admirable?” the answer is simple but many of us
have forgotten this reality. Yes, a better character makes a man
perfect.
You
may ask “what? character isn’t a part of personality?” Not at
all, personality is someone’s external behavior while character is
an internal thing or the real existence of a being.
Character
is the best trait of a man because outer personality rather the mask
would tear down when so called great “personalities” meet some
real challenges. You must have seen many well dressed and well
behaved persons burst out with anger even for some petty things. At
the same time you might have seen people handling the toughest things
with genuine smile and humility.
Let
me make it more clear by relating the concept with an old story. You
must have heard/read the very popular Aesop’s tale of a rabbit and
a tortoise running a race. The rabbit thought of taking rest between
the race and it failed the competition because the tortoise converted
the rabbit's sleeping time to it's winning time. Before the race,
spectators gathered in the starting point must have definitely
thought rabbit will win the race because they entrusted the
“personality” of the rabbit but they never knew that the rabbit
was a lazy lad inside.
So
the moral of the story with respect to the topic is the character of
consistency and integrity wins at the end of the day not the
personality and muscle power.
Okay,
now that you may want to know how you can find someone with a better
character. To find someone with such greatness of character, the only
way is assess the person by investing your time for a long period.
The best character cannot be defined but only can be felt by someones
humbleness or goodness.
On
the other hand to find a person with a great personality you may need
some seconds of time as it is solely based on what you see outside.
Now
the big question, how can I develop a better character?
Personality
mask or Personality techniques can be acquired by simply attending a
personality or behavioral training program but acquiring a great
character needs more effort and time.
“Yes,
I know you are ready to invest your time”. “Okay, that is great
but you need to understand one more thing!”. It is about the
“Character Development Cycle”. Which is a very simple cyclic
process behind Character Development.
#1st
stage
It
starts with a “thought”. If you consume a thought over and over
again that very thought will reflect in your behavior. (Thought
--> Behavior)
#2nd
stage
If
you continue behaving in a certain way over and over again, your
behavior becomes your second nature. That means that behavior becomes
a part of your habit. (Behavior --> Habit)
#3rd
& final stage
Then
when you keep this habit for quite a long time, the same habit will
convert it your character. (Habit --> Character)
This
is the Character Development Cycle; any of your character traits have
undergone this process.
If
you say “I become angry easily, because it’s my character” that
means you had a recurring “thought” of being in a state of
anger/agitation/frustration some time ago. Then that thought had
become your behavior. After that the same behavior became your habit.
Then finally that habit has rooted in your character. That means it
all started from a “thought of anger”.
If
you want to transform your character, it’s simple, change your
thoughts and consume that thought over a period of time. Research
says that if you can hold a thought/behavior over a continuous period
of #21 days that thought becomes rooted in your sub-conscious mind
and in turn becomes your character.
That
means noblest of character is neither a special blessing nor a matter
of up-bringing. But someone's continues effort to consume good
thoughts.
So
next time when you “think” something, have a self-analysis, do I
want to make this thought a part of my character.
Let
us think good, talk good and live good!
[Have
you ever had an experience of "personality" mask vs
character in your life? Or do you want to add on anything I have
missed to address? Jump in and comment in the below section.
Also
if you like this article, please do share with you friends right
after you read it!]
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